In Connecticut, as in most states, a divorce is viewed as a long, arduous process fraught with stress, disagreement, bitter arguments, and emotional scarring. While this brief description includes many divorces, it does not include all divorces. In the last several years, divorce attorneys in Connecticut and elsewhere have devised a process that seeks to significantly reduce the antagonism that colors many divorces. The process is called “collaborative divorce,” and it can have a significant beneficial effect on how parties experience the divorce process.
How does the collaborative divorce process work?
The collaborative divorce process is based upon the willingness of both parties to forego the adversarial nature of most divorce cases and instead work cooperatively and in concert to identify and resolve the issues that may otherwise inject needless antagonism into the proceeding. This agreement must be made and followed in good faith.
The basic agreement
The parties begin the process by agreeing to forego litigation in all circumstances and to work together to share information, discuss their differences, and strive in good faith to agree on the critical issues of finances, child support and custody, spousal support, division of assets, and similar issues. Most parties to a collaborative divorce will sign an agreement specifying the terms of the collaborative process.
Assistants
Each party is free to retain their original lawyer, but each must also retain a collaborative divorce attorney. The parties may also retain financial and emotional advisors to help them through the process. All lawyers must be familiar with the collaborative divorce process and be willing to abide by it.
Coaches
Connecticut requires the parties to a collaborative divorce to hire a “coach” to assist them in avoiding angry outbursts and in otherwise maintaining the civil tone of the process.
Success and failure
If the process is successful, the parties will put their agreement in writing (usually with the help of one or more attorneys). This document will be presented to the court for review and approval. If the court accepts the document, it will become part of the judgment and decree that terminates the marriage.
If one or both parties cannot accept the collaborative process, they are free to go to court to settle the case. However, in such an event, both collaborative attorneys will withdraw from the case, and the parties will revert to the customary adversarial divorce litigation.